Let's Get Wed!
Will You Marry Me?
Let’s get Wed!
Asking the big, life changing question, can be extremely nerve-wracking. However, this can be such a memorable moment for most couples.
It can be difficult to know where, when and how to pop the question ‘will you marry me?’.
Start by considering your timing. Is now a good time to bring up marriage as a subject for both of you? It may be that you have already spoken about your future together and you already have a good idea that marriage is on the cards.
Marriage may be too much to consider as a couple right now because of other factors going on in your lives. If you get the feeling that now isn’t the best time, then perhaps start by gently discussing the concept of marriage. Talk about how you both view marriage and what it means to each of you. You may find that your partner would prefer a civil partnership or that they personally don’t place much value on marriage –remember, this doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t value you or your relationship though!
Maybe there isn’t ever going to be the perfect time to propose and it’s going to be about doing your best and going for it!
Ring or no ring?
Rings are very symbolic in relationships and the joining of couples in marriage, yet some people may not even want a ring at all.
Try to take note of what rings your partner already wears. Get a sense of the style of jewellery they usually go for – what metal do they usually wear?
If they already wear a ring on their ring finger, then keep an eye out for when they take it off. You could get a ring measurer to check it for size or you may get away with borrowing it so you can take it to be measured by a jeweller.
Alternatively, use one of their own rings for the proposal moment and then make shopping for an engagement ring an exciting day out after you get a ‘yes’! Then you can factor in a nice meal out together to celebrate too!
Down on one knee or not?
Well, traditionally yes, the proposer would get down on one knee of course! This is not an option that feels right for everyone and that is okay.
Consider if you might like to go to a meaningful place to propose -perhaps somewhere special to you both. Arrange an outing there together…. and don’t forget the ring!
If you are nervous then don’t worry about making your proposal too theatrical and focus on making it meaningful and special. If saying the words ‘will you marry me’ out loud feels difficult then perhaps write the question on a note or somewhere creative your partner will see it.
Of course, if you like theatrical then bring out the photographers, the choir, the band, the flash-mob or anything that takes your fancy and represents who you are as a couple!
What if they say ‘no’?
If after all your preparation you don’t get the ‘yes’ you had hoped for then it is okay to be disappointed and upset.
There may be many reasons your partner says ‘no’ to marriage. Try your best to talk openly about how you feel and discuss your thoughts on marriage and your future together. Listen to your partners thoughts and feelings. It might be a ‘no, not now’ and this can be the start of ongoing discussions between you about marriage.
What if they say ‘yes’?
Get excited! Talk together about what each of you feels makes a nice wedding for you, discuss the things that are important to you both. Work together and share your ideas. Visit some wedding fairs, look online for ideas, ask around for recommendations and look at websites such as Pinterest for inspiration.
As with any relationship, there may be things you both need to compromise on.
Don’t forget – using a Professional Celebrant for your wedding can give you so much choice and flexibility on when and where you celebrate your wedding.
If a celebrant wedding is for you then I would be delighted to hear from you. I will work with you both to create a bespoke ceremony – unique to you and your relationship.
Best wishes
Becky x
Ceremonies by Becky
07547 754593

